WAYS TO DEAL WITH THE ANGER

Survivors have several stages of emotions and feelings that they will experience.  The feelings of Anger could be directed:

  • at the abuser

  • at the people who did not protect them from the abuse

  • at themselves (feelings of causing trouble)

The anger needs to be released in a way that will not cause harm to yourself or another person.  Once the anger is released a path of healing can begin.

Some survivors experience hate with their anger.  This was what I experienced when I was in "My Awakening."  My therapist had me try the suggestions below to release the anger and hate.

  Write a letter to your abuser.  You can even write a letter to the person you feel should have protected you.  Write this letter as many times as you need to.  It doesn't have to be perfect grammar or spelling.  The letter will never be sent. It is only to help release.  I wrote my letter at least 15 to 20 times.  I had that much hate in my heart.  In my case, I had a ritual burning and burial in my backyard for my letters.

Throw eggs at a tree.  Eggs are bio-degradable to the earth.  I went up in the mountains to a remote area with four dozen eggs.  When I found a good tree, I threw the eggs as hard as I could.  I even cursed when throwing the eggs. (I admit I didn't hit the tree as many times as I wanted but it felt great)

  Write in a journal.  I still keep a journal.  The writing in a journal lets one be able to open up about feelings.  The journal is not to be shared unless you are comfortable with sharing it.  After several months of journaling, you can look back and see how much progress you have made in your healing.

  If you have a therapist ask them about "Role Playing." I wasn't very interested in this suggestion at first but it forced me to see things in a different perspective.

  Go for a drive with the windows up and scream.  This one worked well for myself driving back from group therapy if I was angry or frustrated.

 

 

Several other survivors have offered other suggestions on ways to deal with anger.  I have listed their suggestions below.  If you have a suggest that is not listed here please feel free to email it to me to share with others.

  Throw pillows onto the bed, the floor, the couch, or at the wall

  Crush empty milk jugs, soda cans or plastic bottles, or boxes by jumping up and down on them.  This is great for recycling.

  Go to a batting cage and practice hitting the ball.

  Go bowling and picture your abuser as the main pin. Bowling a strike takes on a new meaning.

  Bang plastic bottles on a table, couch, floor or desk

  Throw water balloons at a fence.  The more you break the better you feel.

  Throw darts at a dart board with a picture of the abuser on the board.

  Rip apart a catalog or old phone book.  Rip as many pages as you can at once.

  Sing in the shower as loud as you can.

  Dig in a garden.  One survivor expressed with their anger they were creating beauty by digging and planting flowers.

  Go to a driving range at a golf course.  Hit the ball as far as and as hard as you can. (If you have never done this, you may not hit the ball every time)

  Play a video game that has targets to shoot.

 

 

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